Roasted squash

I just roasted a delicious butternut squash, and now believe that I might be able to feed myself when I start living alone. This thing is the nerdy cousin of my favorite food, the sweet potato... nothing but kindness for you, butternut squash.

Kindness and brown sugar.

So here I am, filled with squash and little direction. Had my plans gone the way I was expecting, I would currently be in another hemisphere, enjoying the high 60s winter weather of Rio de Janeiro.

Which is not quite the winter that I am accustomed to.

 Interruption - the animal wants to eat. Supper time for Bingley the dog.

Baby trying to drag me off the couch.

Prescription food mashed together and soaked in water. Lil buddy won't drink any other way - what he lacks in life skills he makes up in beauty.

I'm already a little lonesome for the boy. Lately he's been growling at me when I try to snuggle, so I've resorted to personalizing the song "Cups" and hoping that he feels guilty.

So, Rio. I am currently waiting on my visa from the Brazilian Consulate in Chicago. (I have a game for you - call this number [1-312-464-0244] {woops, I've memorized it} and see how many times it takes you to guess a 4 digit extension that brings you to a live person. Don't even bother looking for one online, they're not listed. Have fun!!!)

After paying $30 too many (although I followed protocol on their website to a TEEEshirt), my application was returned unprocessed, leaving me with minimal time to resubmit it and get it back by my scheduled departure date. While this was an honest gesture, the additional fees for re-posting two express mail envelopes and changing my flight generally obscure any perceived kindness.

And now I cannot get hold of anyone in the visa department. Email, phone, fax, claim filed, got my congressman's office involved... nada.

I am aware that I probably sound bitter regarding this situation, but I'm at peace. Before I realized that I most definitely would not be leaving on schedule, I dealt with some internal confusion about going at all - Did I make this decision for the right reasons? Did I not pray enough about this? Is this trip what God wants for me? So far I've come up with, 1) I don't know 2) God has grace for me 3) I don't know.

One recent evening marked by significant doubt, I was introduced to a lovely lady who had just returned from a semester in Venezuela and was pumpèd for me to find my way to South America. For a couple hours we sat by a bonfire (mosquitos and lightning bugs in full force) and she described her experience - explaining how God's grace and provision were evidenced throughout her journey and how she became exposed to the realness of her sin and need to depend on God. Going out of her "comfort zone," she found comfort in communion with her Savior, and strength to put sin to death and to love other people in the name of Jesus. I'm not sure that this is exactly how she would describe the summation of her experience, but I think this was what I was supposed to hear.

I've been convicted recently of choosing comfort over what is good for me. The trip ahead of me (assuming that it will happen) is not necessarily a comfortable one. Physically speaking, it sounds ridiculous to call my study abroad "uncomfortable" considering that my home stay is in one of the most posh neighborhoods in one of the beach capitals of the world, however, I don't expect this to be an easy venture. I will refrain from naming the challenges that I fear, but overall I know that this will be a full-person discomfort. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Not to mention that when I return to the states, it will be to a new home, in a new state.

So thank you Lord for these extra days that I get to spend in glorious Minnesota summer, a Carioca winter can wait. Teach me peace and trust!